Monday, January 18, 2010

I Work All Day So I Can Work All Day


Monday, Jan 18, New York, NY.
Today is a holiday- MLK day. That doesn't really make that much of a difference to me. Not that MLK day is not important, no that's not what I mean. I just mean that weekdays, weekends, holidays... they all are the same to me. I am unemployed at the moment and therefore have no consistent schedule, and yet I always seem to have things to do. Lots of things to do. Where would I even fit in a job if I had one?!

In any case, this Blog is way way overdue. I have been making this film for over two years now! How on earth I fit in film school in between producing and directing it I am not sure. And yet here I am, two years later- I have all my footage, I have explored and changed and mined my story until I found the essence of what I wanted to tell. I got a grant, I have a great crew, I have a website and I just started a blog. Now I spend my days applying to Tribeca All Access, Tribeca Gucci Doc Fund, Chicken & Egg, IFp filmmaker labs, IFp spotlight on Docs, Sundance Doc Fund, ITVS, etc etc etc etc e t c ee tt cc etc.

I pay each time I want to apply to one of these, all for the hopes of getting money because I dont have any and I can hardly afford to pay the application fees. I stay home and do all of this instead of work because I am stuck in a catch 22:
I either get a job and spend most of my time at work in order to get enough money to inch this film forward bit by bit, or I live off my thin savings and scrape the bottom of my bank accounts while I put all my efforts into getting money, so that I can then spend all my time working on my doc, like I already do, but actually move the doc forward, actually not starve, actually pay people. So I work on my doc all day so that I can eventually work on my doc all day. What a conundrum.

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